Did it ever happened to you to think: why do i believe this? or why do i act in this way? or why do i have this fear? and not to understand exactly where it comes from but at the same time, it sticks with you like a jellyfish. It hurts you but it won´t go away until you know what it is, you understand what it can do to you and you know how to remove it.
All this is called: LIMITING BELIEF.
A limiting belief is a state of mind, a belief that you think is true and limits you in some way. It could be about you, your interactions with other people or the world and how it works. Limiting beliefs can have a number of negative effects on you.
Where does a limiting belief come from?
Do you remember the beginning of your childhood when everything was new to you, when you wanted to discover the world, to try everything and you didn´t really care about what others were saying?
And then all of a sudden you started to hear: you can´t do this, this is not nice, you are not good with singing, you can´t answer to a grown up even if you don´t agree with what he/she says. All these phrases, as innocent or as intention-less as they may seems, they are the source of your limiting beliefs.
Me for example, in my childhood i was always hearing: ¨forget about this, let´s not upset this others¨. I heard it so many times that i grew up thinking that is no problem if i don´t feel fine or i disagree with something, as long as the other as happy. And where did this brought me? Well, it brought me to the point that i couldn’t say ¨no¨ anymore. More work for me?! is fine, i can sleep less or spend my weekends doing it. A friend wants to go out?! is fine, we go, even if i´m very tired and tomorrow i will feel exhausted. And like this, thousands of examples.
It brought me to not be able to express a personal opinion, to not be able to make my own decisions, to always doubting myself, to stay in places that i didn´t want to stay. And all this for what? For the others to be fine because i believed that all the others are more important than me.
How to identify a limiting belief?
Well, the theory is always good but how can we put it in practice? Now that more or less is clear what a limiting belief is, is time for you to identify yours. And how can you do that?
- Write down beliefs of anything you feel strongly about and influence your daily life. It helps and is more clear if you devide them in categories like: finances, family, relationships, health, etc.
- Analyze your behaviors: think about circumstances where you have acted negative and think why.
- Write down areas where you feel challenged. Once you have the challenges, write down your beliefs related to that challenge.
Some questions can also help:
- Why do i feel like this?
- Why do i believe this?
- Was it something in the past that caused this effect on me?
I know it sounds easier than it is but trust me, i´ve been there and is possible. And if you need help, don´t hesitate, go for it. When you are trapped, the light seems too far away and some support can be the key.
How to overcome a limiting belief?
Louise Hay once said: ¨If you accept a limiting belief, then it will become a truth for you¨.
But what happens when that ¨truth¨ doesn’t go well with you? Then, is time for ACTION.
Once you have your limiting beliefs identified, make sure you want to change then and make a plan to do so.
Start by asking yourself questions again:
- Do i want to continue like this?
- How do i picture myself in 5 years if i continue believing this?
- How would i like things to be for me?
- And the most important: what can i do to achieve what i want?
- Who can help me to achieve it?
- How will i feel once i achieved it?
Ask yourself as many questions as possible. Questions trigger a mental reflex known as ¨instinctive elaboration¨. When a question is posed, it takes over the brain´s thought process and it can´t contemplate anything else. So it can surprise you with the answers.
Overall, the limiting beliefs are unconsciously formed in most of the cases so there is nothing you can do about it but you can break them and release yourself from their negative impact.
¨You begin to fly when you let go of self- limiting beliefs and allow your mind and aspirations to rise to greater heights¨
Brian Tracy